just haven't had a whole lot to say lately...

GOODBYE PORK PIE HAT

Having a Mingus night, 

complete with a dark room, cigarette, and cup of coffee,

A black dress that doesn't sparkle, and doesn't shine

A pork pie hat that used to be mine,

Remembering a time when you put me in that dungeon,

forcing me to listen to the girl of my dreams

telling me fables, fables of faubus

some man she used to love.

Things aren't what they used to be,

ask me as you watch me sit here,

my indigo mood.

Mingus night,

full of desire for the underdog, the underworld.

Disappointment is not the word.

How do you tell an eleven year old girl that even though she thought she was going to France to play with a group of teenagers, she isn't. What do you say to her when she asks, "If everyone pays there own way, could we afford it?"

That woman didn't gather funds.

The only explanation we can come to; try to keep girl from being jaded, thinking the world is fake, never to be pure again.

Thanks old lady, for overestimating your connections, neglecting funds, and telling us three weeks before we were set to depart. How does your goddamn conscious feel?

YOU BLOG LIKE...ONCE EVERY TWO MONTHS

I heard a distant cry. 

NO.

I heard Jessie's plea. Did you know her name is JESSIE, not jessica, jessanthamum, jessina, jessali, jessalla, chicken tikka jesalla.

She said

I LIKE READING YOUR BLOG

well check in every

two       month, minutes, days, seconds, years, solstices

well i love you

jess-ie, ica, anthamum, ina, ali, alla

and I know that one day, you will love a man not a silly little boy, and he will be kind, caring, compassionate, sexy, humorous, straight-forward, and most of all, he will have SWAG. 

ya know

A tear shed for a man worth knowing

I got back from a funeral for a man I didn't ever get a chance to know. From the stories that were told at the heartbreaking service, I got the sense that he would forever live on within the hearts of those who knew and loved him. As an outsider, I deeply regretted missing out on his grace during his lifetime, but I felt his strong presence all day, and I allowed myself to cry for his family, who are working so hard to keep themselves together.

The world keeps losing great people, why are all the iniquitous ones sticking around?

Food for thought.

Rest in peace David. You will always be missed. Sustain your presence amongst those that really need you. 

EVERYTHING IN ITS RIGHT PLACE

I have found you, and in finding you I have found me. And I come away with the feeling that Everything is indeed in its Right Place. 

I learned that I expect too much from others and not enough from myself.

I have also discovered that the only reason I wouldn't let myself have you, and wouldn't let you have me, is because I was undoubtedly afraid of other thoughts.

Honestly, you are a better man than the other, and I am ready to take you in my arms and breathe happiness. 

Will you forgive me? 

sacha wearing the cut out pantyhose

Listen close to what I say, cos this types a shit happens everyday!

I like American Apparel. I like models. I like naked freedom.

I don't like that before you see Sacha wearing the cut out pantyhose, you see some little girl in a leotard and socks posing like she's breakdancing, and the next thing you see is a giant bare ass grinning at you, and one breast that winks, trying to convince you that this pornographic photography belongs on the same website as kids breakdancing.

That's not art. That's wrong.

http://americanapparel.net/

OBLIGATION OR SOCIAL JUSTICE

I have an obligation to attend Orchestra rehearsal, but what I really want, is to go to ACLU with Jessie and talk about social justice. 

Hmm.... what's more important?

Met a boy on the bus today. Ask me if I have game!

I was on the way back from telegraph, where I was just kickin it by myself  reading my book. The BEAN TREES. Check it out if you like some cute literature.

Anyways, he was messing with me about reading, and what not, and we just got to talking. Nice guy.

He's a senior, and he's sixteen, so he must be relatively intelligent.

Only problem....

He's in continuation school.

So, guess we'll have to just be friends! 

LAS CHICAS on a SATURDAY

Last night, I spent some time with Grace, a friend who I haven't really seen in awhile, and it was exactly like old times, except better because we were in our right minds, and we weren't with a certain someone. 

This is my personal blog, so I can say what I want right?

Anyway, what's nicer than eating a croissant and drinking great coffee with a wonderful family, and looking out at Ocean Beach at 9:30 in the morning, watching shapes run in the fog, and waves roll in the distance.

Thank you for a good time Kennedy's. 

Off to spend some more time with some other friends. Hayley, and Tayler. Long overdue.

Candid

What does it mean to be too candid?

If you aren't overly aggressive, but you also aren't a doormat, then how are you too candid?

Something to think about, that will push me to realize that he isn't candid. It's really a shame.

the awareness that everything moves in circles is sure to make one a better person.

MMMM FUN WITH KATAMOOSH

Femthought #1

Does creativity hit a wall, and tell you to reverse? 

Is thinking like driving a car?

Maybe some people have a section in their mind that contains the thoughts they don't want to think. When they get to that section, they reverse. 

Nothing gets accomplished that way.

This is why divorces happen.